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Exam time means no sleep which means coffee which for me usually means a visit or two to Starbucks. I was walking through City Park towards Division and Brad caught up to me and asked me to help him light his cigar (I know right?). I don’t think Brad has ever ordered something from Starbucks but my friend Melissa is a barista there (here’s her super cute tumblr: http://worththetime.tumblr.com/) and suggested he try a vanilla latte.
Melissa: do you like chocolate?
Brad: I am one of the few people on the planet who hate chocolate.
Melissa: what about caramel or vanilla?
Brad: I like vanilla
Me: Brad likes white things
Brad: are you saying I’m racist?
Me: you just like white things
Brad: so I just ask for a vanilla bullshit?
Brad: that’s all it is…coffee and milk no matter how you say it.
Ryan: ask for a medium as well (HA).
So Brad walked up to the counter and I’m not quite sure what he said to the barista but they had a short conversation.
Barista: and what’s your name?
Brad: Bradley Dobson.
He must have enjoyed the drink because he got another one, but not before embarrassing me super hardcore.
Brad: am I embarrassing you?
Me: look at yourself.
Brad: I’m dressed for success!
Me: you’re dressed for a funeral home.
And then a woman talked to me about how she got sprayed by a tiger at a mall in Edmonton (I don’t know if she meant sprayed by spit or some other bodily fluid) because she gives off lots of pheromones and the tiger wanted to mark her, and then went on to talk about lobster on the East Coast and how her kids would kill her for telling me this story.
The moral? Never take Brad anywhere.